When I miss my Girls

When I miss my girls, I remember their younger days…..carefree, loved, spoilt, and unhindered by dogma and decree.
Each one destined for a path unique.

Intertwined lives through shared experiences, wildly separated by independent minds.
The one looking to lead and forge past any obstacle, unhindered by challenges;
The other constantly looking for understanding and meaning, asking questions only old souls question, many times over, through many lives ;the answers to which she will struggle and may never ever find …..
The last with ambition driven. Her need to level with her siblings years ahead evident always…Challenging them to stay ahead if they can……….

Each one moved by an unseen machine, forever and tirelessly wandering through time and space…
Did I do this???……..set the burning ambition early on ??? Sending them hurtling like comets towards a pre directed path????
Did I steer their attention away from the carefree, the attainable, that which could be grasped and held forever?
I look at their choices, and they look like they are scanning horizons that I will never behold.
Is it fair, that they seek for boundaries beyond without having got to yesterdays goal?
Have I passed on a gene, perhaps, a yearning of life’s quest for the furthest barrier and then another?

I see them look back now and again, and hope it is without regret and longing.
There is knowledge in the beginnings of things that inform our later actions, however we try we cannot change ourselves even with the errors of others as examples to guide us. Some lessons have to be processed through experience.

Some may be happier to drop their seeds at their feet, and forever shade their emerging offspring with protective branches; others create the seeds with the mutations which allow them to be carried by the wind to faraway places, never knowing if the winds of chance will take them to fertile ground…..in an extreme leap of faith that they would geminate and prosper in some unimagined haven.

We do then shape our children’s paths- whether by obvious intended ambition, or passively by the unseen gene, which directs and steers the course.

To my enigmatic children
Rhea, Tasmin, and Nadia, who occupy my thoughts constant frequency….which is as it should be……