Some rats had moved into the ceiling, and every night in the small hours they would become active. This would take the form of energetic scampering as if they were in the midst of a game, or a family squabble, or even heavan forbid a mating ritual ( let me not even begin to imagine that this frenitc enegy was the actaul act that would produce bountiful baby rats). While this was very irritating, no rats were seen and by morning the rats were forgotten because there was so much else that needed doing.

I spent a little more than a week visiting my children in Cape Town, and on my return was hoping to get a peaceful nights sleep with my own pillow on a familliar bed. Alas my absence had meant for the rats that I had abandoned my quaters, and it saw this as an opportunity to establish itself not in the ceiling anymore but in the room. Ofcourse, I was only made aware of this when at o1h30 in the morning I was awakened with scampering, araound the base of the headboard of my bed.

My displeasure was anounced with some shoe throwing at the cupboard where I last saw the unwelcome furry visitor. I also slept in another room albeit, very lightly, as can be expected, but not before I secured the door against it escaping, because I planned to have it caught the next morning.

The next morning saw me trying to establish whether I had dreamed the experience or imagined it all, which would mean I was slowly losing my mind!!!!!!! Thankfully the visitor had left a few dehydrated droppings which were a telltale sign of its presence. My dutiful maid arrived with a broom with which she was going to use as a weapon to kill and remove the rat, but alas when we moved the cupbaord and looked for it, it was nowhere to be found.

That evening at around six when it was becoming a bit dark, I approaced, my tenants, who were relaxing on the patio, and asked what would be the best way to kill a rat. They sugessted a some poison and we were discussing the dangers this would present for the three dogs and how to prevent any accidents, when one of the tenants, Richard noticed that a rat had fallen off the roof.

The convesation about the poisoning, had apparently affected the rodent to some degree as it was making its way to its preferred lodgings, "MY ROOM," and it fell off the roof. Being a resilient and mean hearted beast that it was, it didnt even have the decency to break any bones or dislocate a shoulder. So with only its feeling hurt as it thupmed to the ground, the critter began to run into the nearest bush.

One of the tenants, Grant, grew up on a farm, or was very energetic, grabbed a makeshift weapon of a piece of wood, which thankfully, one of the help had neglected to cleanup (I need to discipline someone at some stage)and called the Jack Russels to assist in catching the rodent. Ofcourse, my dogs are called "Courage and Lily", but their names were changed to " Billy and Peta," by the tenants when they arrived, so when they began to call the dogs, they were quite ignored. I smiled (even though the situation was tense) a satisfied smile of " HUH They are still my dogs even though you guys spend a little more time trying to convert them, to new and disturbing names," all the while hoping the rat would be caught soon.

With the dogs now milling around the bush nosily, and excitedly, the rat made a desparate dash for the next bush which would see it closer to the garage and freedom if it could get behind the garage. But no, Grant was onto it, with the dogs in tow, and now Richard who had fetched his hockey stick, was now also in on the action. With this added effort the rats looked up and began climbing the tree, while the boys and the dogs concentrated on the dense foliage at the ground level. I spotted its mad dash up the palm tree and quickly directed the action, before it had a chance to get too far up. With some forceful slashing action Grant managed to deter the escape skywards, but the frantic creature now saw fit to break towards the garage, its initial desired route of escape.........At this stage, I gave up on the valiant efforts of the two boys, men really and the ferocious dogs, Jack Russelss really and got into my car to get some rat poison.

While going to the supermarket, I reflected this hunt had all the flavour of a foxhunt, in which the fox is hunted and killed in an inhumane manner and began to feel slightly soory for the rodent in question. But then I remembered that rats do carry diseases which can create quite a problem and they do colonise quickly with their prolific breeding habits. I recently read too that with the warm weather, snakes would be attracted to an area where rats and mice were allowed to establish themselves and a few dogs and humans were bitten by the venomous "black Mamba" recently.

In the store the gentleman who directed me to a shelf where the poison was located, was quite surprised when I suggested the size of the rat I wished to rid my self of and his smile had all the suspicion of one who listens to the story of the fish that got away. For some reason he didnt think rats grew that large. When i had spoken to a ldy from the Etekwini municipality she expressed surprise that " Umhlanga" had rats too. I quickly let her know that we had sugar cane in the surrounding areas, and decided that explaining to her the problem of global warming, and the profiliferation of pests as just one of the conseqences of bad town planning where dense populations exist would be too much effort. I left to to her alarm that even a more affluent neighbourhood has pests and dutifully took down the number for environmental safety, which I have since misplced, okay I actually lost it and would have to phone back, at some stage to alarm the good lady once again.

This truly was a huge monster, and when I first set eyes on him he looked big, but scampering up the tree, I realised just how large he was. (Indeed it occurred to me to look around in case he had four teenage mutant ninja turtles in tow, that he was teaching the Marshal Arts to.)

Upon my return home, I approached Grant with my purchases of some blocks of blue bait which promised to get rid of any " Norway" and "Roof" rats, feeling this bait was tailor made for me. I received the happy news that in my absence, that the recent culling of one large rodent, had been excersised, with mixed feeling of disbelief but overwhelming relief too. The said rat was disposed of in the dustbin, and will lie there until in five days time it will be carried away with the trash. This decomposition of a rat on the property means that we will soon smell the effects of the "dirty business." The rat, even in death would hold dominion over its chosen abode for some time.

I have promised Grant and Richard a cake baked by myself for thier valiant efforts against a worthy advesary. In every war there is a victory and a defeat, I humbly salute the invader, who is no more.